Why does it have to take so long? Why are there so many obstacles in the way? How can I know what Gnosis is?
Si Vales, Valeo
Gnosis is hard to attain because we are programmed by instinct to conceal and never reveal our true natures or motives. Fear is the mechanism which causes us to assume we must protect ourselves, even from ourselves. In many ways Gnosis is very similar to Love. To love one must be vulnerable to the subject of ones desires. We cannot control the feelings of another person, so when we have allowed ourselves to have and show feelings for another, in spite of the dangers to our emotions, we increase the impact that experience is going to have on our emotional well being if it is returned. If it is not, it can be devastating. That’s why, as I have said elsewhere, Love is not for cowards. Your desire for the experience must override your fear. It is the same with Gnosis. Get yourself out of the way, and it will come. Open yourself up to the experience, and promise yourself that the ordeals will be worth it.
Speaking of Gnosis, I am often reminded of the movie The Matrix, and having to choose the blue or the red pill. It is up to you. You can’t take them both, and once you are presented with the choice, refusing to swallow either pill is the same as taking the blue pill. You are, at that point, making a conscious choice of living in a secure, happy life of ignorant bliss and illusion.
Perhaps Thomas Jefferson was speaking on many planes of existence when he wrote “Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.” (“I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery”) Ignorance is in the case of Gnosis, slavery.
The first step of embarking upon your journey is simple. Book writers like to make things complicated because that is how they are able to hold the readers attention. Humans love our puzzles and mysteries. It makes us feel good when we can unravel the hidden. I hope you are not one of these people that likes to trip themselves up.
And if we are to liberate ourselves from the bonds of this illusion we will need to ask ourselves some easy questions. Write them down in your journal and revisit these questions whenever you are experiencing peaks of happiness, sorrow, longing or boredom. You have to start with social condition, because external validation is one hell of a demon.
1. Do I want Gnosis more than the illusion which until this point has brought me so much satisfaction and makes me feel so wanted and accepted?
2. Do I possess the strength and confidence to be happy knowing my own Truth? Can I accept myself as I am no matter what? (This one is tricky. If you achieve any degree of progress you will see yourself in complete nakedness of your own truth. I have never met some one that was happy after seeing this much honesty.)
3. Why has external validation meant so much to me?
4. Why do I wish to be accepted into my current circle of friends? What is it about the people around me that I admire and/o respect?
5. What do I think makes a true friend and why?
6. Am I really a good reflection of who and what I am, or am I deceiving people, or worse: myself?
7. Do I believe what I say? Do I believe what my friends tell me? Do THEY believe what they say? or are my friends helping me deceive myself? Am I a good friend, or do I assist them to hide from themselves too?
8. What is the most important thing in my life and why?
9. There are things that I need to be happy, and how do those things differ from things that I want? (To find out, start a list with two columns. One for the things you now have and/or want, the other for the things you absolutely cannot live without. Look at it at least once a week to see if you are compelled to change it by moving items from one column to another. This will surprise you.)
10. What is the name of the mask I wear? If you can name it, you can have power over it. You can confine it to a Triangle of Art and try to understand why it needs to be in control. And with a little skill you can heal it. That mask is your ally, tries to shelter you from pain. Be kind.
11. If you are not your body, and you are not your thoughts, and you are not your emotions, what are you?
I know, I know. You were expecting something much more difficult. Sorry to disappoint you. If you want me to lie to you and make something up to keep you spinning your wheels for the rest of your days, I can recommend a few books.
Write back if you have questions.